Julia for Prom Queen!
Ilikejuliaallison never went to prom. I suspect in retrospect it had something to do with my scales, which the other kids told me made me “unique” “different” and “like a terrifying, disgusting alien from planet creepy.” Glamour shot! It’s cool. These days, I cover them with Jessica McClintock taffeta, which makes them look… fluffy. Which is a synonym for attractive.
However, apparently Julia went. And she went with 17 boys. That’s how you know she is super pretty and popular. Which is why she needs your vote for prom queen for the Webutante Ball. ! One exclamation point isn’t enough. !!!!!!!! And some more. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, because of my interesting skin type, all ilikejuliaallison knows about prom comes from watching endless loops of Gossip Girl in my darkened, subterraean, softly padded lair. Basically, this is how prom works. You can insert the name Julia in your head for all mentions of Blair (though that’s so obvious, I don’t need to say it, right?) Blair shows up at prom wearing some dress that looks like they stripped down another window treatment at Tara. And Nelly Yuki (Mary Rambin) is like “I’m going to be prom queen and steal all of the bids for Blair out of the ballot box!” But her plan fails, and Blair is voted prom queen and triumphantly announces “I OWN prom!” “Huh?” Says Serena (Meghan Asha) “Who even voted for her?” “I did” replies Chuck (ilikejuliaallison) “About 150 times.”
But that wily fox Richard Blakely has made it so I can’t vote for her more than once. His voting system somehow stalks my computer. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why it doesn’t want me voting for Julia 150 times.
But if we team up, we can get 150 collective votes! Be my hands, readers. Be my scaly, mutant, alien hands. Julia ‘09! Yes we can! Yes we can! Change (or really, sameness) we can believe in!
